Alyssa Kai - Drag Bunt Suicide Squeeze

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From the album "Split w/ Foster Carrots" by Alyssa Kai.


Back at the south boston boys school
Where I first learned to play
Couldn't tell right field from little ol' left field but
They had me anyway
Got on base just once in three years
Hitting an ump in the process
And a sac fly out to center field or something
I was flawless

And I was becoming a creature that none of my
Friends from those days understand
Stuffing my sister's old bra in a white cotton button down
Shirt with the sleeves pulled down over my hands
Hiding the lines that I drew in the mirror
My sister said Honey You Throw Like a Girl like the
Backstop my parents kept in their backyard
Where my father'd walk toward me and mutter these words:

"Drag your feet toward the base
Leave your hands above the plate
Drop the bat and let it roll
You'll be leaving home"

And my sister was a Yankee
'Til she moved away from home
And I didn't give two halves of one shit about baseball
'Til she overdosed
You know my parents they ask me how I'm doing
And I don't wanna lie
So I dither to them about the Red Sox bullpen
'Stead of saying I wanna die

It's like being fourteen around bodies that strained against
Bodies condensed to nonsensical images I
Play back on replay reviewing the calls like when
I saw the Spinners in 2006 I
Asked my friend Greg whether he'd ever thought about
Maybe like I don't know being a girl and when
He told me No I knew I was alone
I would draw in the mirror and mutter these words:

"You're on third the score is tied
Signal's made the pitcher winds
As I square catcher sees
You're coming home to me"


from Baseball Punx, released January 25, 2018


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